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death_unites_us
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PostSubject: Novel Excerpts   Mon Feb 13, 2012 8:30 pm

Before you read this post, please read this one: http://www.4-8forums.com/t1923-updates-on-my-novel

I'll be posting some excerpts of my novel here. I believe that most of these will probably be very unedited prototypes, put on here as soon as I write them. So don't expect these to make it in as they are, and don't expect them to blow you away either. But I do hope that these help you gain insight into the nature of the novel, and serve as yet another tool to keep me motivated.

Excerpt One
This excerpt has absolutely no editing done to it, and I just wrote it about 10 seconds before making this post. The main character of the novel is Ryan, and throughout the story he writes certain things in his journal. This is a passage about his past and present love. Many of the entries will have this theme.

Ryan’s Journal:

I used to love other girls. I used to love a lot of other girls. I’ve been searching for a constant between all of my past relationships. I believed there has to be something that has never changed. I’ve loved the scared. I’ve loved the poor. I’ve loved the strong. I’ve loved the broken. I’ve loved the changeless. I’ve loved the heartless. I’ve loved the undesired. I’ve loved the loved. I’ve destroyed relationships. I’ve let go of relationships. I’ve watched relationships fade away. I’ve watched evil grow within the destroyed heart of a once love. I’ve witnessed the terror of one who has lost the one they truly loved.
I believed there must be a constant. There must be something that pulls all of these relationships together, because the same emotion grips my heart when the memories of each flicker in my mind. It’s that gut feeling. Most would describe this as love. That feeling you get like none other. The indescribable pull that is the inspiration for nearly everything we do. I believed that although love is constant, there is something else I feel when I think of my past, something that is not so easy to point out.

I now know what I have been searching for, and the answer is darker than I expected. I look into the eyes of a girl I once loved, a girl I would have died for, a girl I would have given my entire life for, and I see flaw, not in her but in myself. She is beautiful. Her eyes, they change with her mood. I see a light blue in combination with her innocent smile, a patient green with her relaxed face, and a hint of orange in her ponderous gaze. There’s so much about her that is irreplaceable. Her impression is endless, her love is soft, but her motivation is stern. I look at all of this, from a step away, and can only find time to describe her perfection. Yet that girl, with the long hair, the piercing dark eyes, walks by, and I feel my heart move. The beauty, the perfection, those eyes, none of it can dampen my lust for more. Why should I have one when I can have another? Why have light forever when I can have dark later? The thought of leaving one I love is intolerable only until a greater option is set forth. Who can tell me whether my second love will be lesser than the first? These feelings, are they love at all? Or has this all been lust from the beginning? If I never loved this girl, why would I stay? Why wouldn’t I go pursue another, who could show me the true meaning of this word so indescribable?

For ten years I have had the same feeling. Sometimes, I would take that second chance. Other times, I would stay, but the thought of lust would weaken me, and soon I would leave knowing that my relationship couldn’t be love if such thoughts intruded my mind. No matter what I did, that poisonous thought always, always came back.

With you, it never began. I waited for it to start. I would leave your presence and go out into the world of lust, lewdness, and greed. I would see the credulous arousal of the men around me, and the shrewd art of the girls’ ploys.

All I ever felt was an insanely overpowering feeling of missing you.

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~4getthe h8rs~
And then, we'll soar. It doesn't matter what you've done, what I've done, what has happened and what is about to happen. I know, it hurts. But the truth is, I don't care anymore. I don't care because I have something far more important to care about now. I have you, and you are everything I'll ever need and ever wanted. So, we'll leave that all behind, we'll make our own destiny, together, and then, we'll soar.


Last edited by death_unites_us on Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rafix
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PostSubject: Re: Novel Excerpts   Mon Feb 13, 2012 8:48 pm

Looks great so far, although I still can't really say I know what to expect from the novel
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death_unites_us
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PostSubject: Re: Novel Excerpts   Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:28 pm

Rafix wrote:
Looks great so far, although I still can't really say I know what to expect from the novel

Thanks!

It's very hard to explain what to expect because the novel is meant to confuse the reader. But at least this gives an idea of how the writing looks, and the overall feeling of the language. Plus, this is a journal entry, which is only half of the novel. The rest is in 3rd person.

_________________
~4getthe h8rs~
And then, we'll soar. It doesn't matter what you've done, what I've done, what has happened and what is about to happen. I know, it hurts. But the truth is, I don't care anymore. I don't care because I have something far more important to care about now. I have you, and you are everything I'll ever need and ever wanted. So, we'll leave that all behind, we'll make our own destiny, together, and then, we'll soar.
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Rafix
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PostSubject: Re: Novel Excerpts   Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:32 pm

Yeah, I read that after I commented. I really like how you set that up
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