What the hell Gorgan Freeman?

Makes one wonder how a normal scientist can get into so much trouble in such little time. Starting your first day at work and you eventually provoke an entire dimension of aliens or extra-dimensional beings into slaughtering the whole staff. Was he really in that bad of a mood? Morgan Freeman's unprovoked attack against not only the staff he was commissioned to work with but also a peaceful race of 'things' can only be said in so few words: Freeman's a *censored*. You go from well known actor that is black to a crowbar wielding psycho-path. It makes one wonder how he held back the urge to not have a naughty tentacles moment with Alyx. What makes it worse is that in the confusion of it all the black ops soldiers sent to kill him had no idea who the hell Freeman was so, for the good of all of humanity, they killed any scientist they saw. Unfortunately, Freeman outsmarted them all by literally disguising himself as a hazmat scientist, which confused the blakc ops soldiers to an even greater extent and so they had to also kill anyone in a hazmat suit for good measure. Did that work? Nope. But it sure was fun doing your country a favor by killing those liberal scientists. Turns out they were conservative.

His partner, universally known as the "G-man" is no slouch himself. The dynamic duo have obviously been in the act from the start to practically rape reality itself. By defying the laws of physics the G-man was a business man in a secret facility in Mexico that basically translates, from Mongolian to English, to "black table." Why is a business man in a facility that studies quantum-physics? Just to get at one man for a reason they still refuse to answer? The plot thickens quickly when you find out that Dr. Vance is part of the act as well, being fully aware of the G-man (possibly some secret relationship) and even Gordan Freeman who's basically humanity's messiah. What makes killing an entire staff of scientists and killing the refugees of an entire pocket-universe of collective species, essentially a covenant (and I use that word with extreme prejudice), so amazing when Gordan himself was behind the entire invasion of earth? He's the overlord behind everything and the G-man is his dragon. Think of that one guy played by Steve Carrell and that four-eyed man-child from The Office. It's basically that, in context. It makes sense, I swear to God. *censored* you.

So not only was Gordan Freeman behind the events of Half-Life, Half-Life 2 and the expansions that came after but he's such a damn bastard that he blames other people for the *censored* he created. Wallace Breen, that fathead you see everywhere in City 17, is such a moron that he was more concerned with capturing Gordan and most likely sentencing him to death for the whole world's leisure. As noble as Breen's intentions were to catch Gordan and free everyone from the alliance they made with the Combine (the aliens that Gordan pissed off in black table) he messed up. Badly.

Even with the entire planet's military throw at him, Gordan and his rag-tag of Wolverines wannabes manage to somehow take out literally a third of the damn human-Combine alliance army! How can one geek with a crowbar do this?! Oh yeah, G-man helped. Every level he was there, you just didn't notice. That's what happens when you convert to scientology, you see things that others normally don't see. And no the tin-foil hat thing is utter crap, in other words it's semi-true in a sorta bullshit sorta way if you're into that stuff, pervert. But that's besides the point. Everyone in Half-Life is a scientologist from birth to adolescence. Why such a short frame? Well, because eventually you'll accept the aliens the same way America accepts people of diverse races and religions. They just mixed, okay? I don't want to go into details.

Spoiler:

So, not only did Gordon initate the shortest Planetary War in history (it lasted Seven hours) but also had millions killed just so he wouldn't get blamed. What a child. So everyday I go to the internetz and I read blogs and polls about who would be the greatest video game characters of all-time. Unsurpringsly it's Sonic. You thought I was going to say Gordan Freeman didn't you? Well, I was but I just wanted to pull your arm. The expression isn't said like that I know. Anyway, Gordan Freeman is one of the many that is selected. So not only is unitology being adopted in the real-world but also Gordanism. Practically took a tome of Dawirnism and shat in it so hard that every other copy in the vicinity had the misfortune of producing the same effect. Quite a gross thought in one's mind, true, but nonetheless irrefutable, regardless of what anyone has to say. But then I received a revelation, Gordan is a Player-Character meaning that the player can insert their own unique personalities into the person they are controlling in the game. The only problem is that you still butt-hurt the earth and all of its denizens to years of oppression to a greatly superior god-status race of aliens that can litterally tear a new one to everyone that has the misfortune of being alive if they choose to get crackin' on their sorry asses. In short, anyone that has played Half-Life or its terrible sequel is a basically this in a can after everything I have just said: a savior of mankind and the very reason for humanity to continue on living. Screw religion we have science!

Truly an amazing character that will not be forgotten for days to come.

All i have to say is.

Bla bla bla Mr Freeman (if you get my reference i love you long time.)

Saint570 wrote:

All i have to say is.

Bla bla bla Mr Freeman (if you get my reference i love you long time.)

Let me explain in a largely shortened version of what I'm talking about.

The world is taken over by aliens and the one man responsible is considered a messiah of sorts. No one seems to have the common sense of turning their heads a few inches to the 90 degree angle to notice it. Are they being ignorant or are they cleverly ignoring the facts just to make their lives just a bit more interesting? I say they were being ignorant and ugly. Stupid because they literally are and handsome for not being born properly. It's their damn fault. And there is plenty of evidence during the middle portion of the first game that when the black ops soldiers captured him in Blue Shift he was tried for treason against humanity. He refused to testify. Obviously Freeman hates justice and deserves this. A man that cannot be bothered with the order of things should not be allowed to live. One could argue that the ones present were simply ludicrous sure, but the prosecution has presented a lot of "evidence" that proved he killed everyone. But, if Gordan were really guilty, wouldn't he not want to get caught? If Gordan didn't want to get caught, why would he leave any evidence? Their own argument defeats itself!

But in a strange working of fate he killed them all because the soldiers cried in self-defense for capturing Freeman, which he did not like. The Combine faced a similar fate when he held the entirety of City 17 hostage. The noble acts of the Combine military was an utter failure. There were many times in Half-Life 2 where he could have been aprehended but do to the meddling of the player he would get away. Not even leaving Freeman in a ghost town of Ravenholm could stop the bastard. He killed the entire population that was already dead. He never thought for one second that maybe they just wanted him to pass by without being detected, but Mr. Freeman being the insensitive man he is went Doctor Who on every last one of them. It didn't help when the only survivor was mentally scarred by him actions.

No matter how hard the world tried to stop him there just wasn't any way to stop Freeman. Eventually those that began to take Gordanism as their official religion began to take offices and buildings as their bases, killing Combine police forces whilst stealing their weapons, and storming an armory and launched a full-scale revolution against the Combine. Dr. Breen insisted that they stop their petty rebellion lest they all be skewered for their retardedness, which sorta happened until the Gordanism's God came to rescue them in a Big Damn Heroes moment and utterly raped the living fabric of humanity left in the military. Freeman's reign of anarchy can be seen in nearly every corner of the streets, painted with his sign of armageddon no less.

G-man of course never lets things get boring when Doctor Bastard is looming around the corner. By stopping time and letting him know that his 'clients' have invested an enormous sum of currency for his life it makes one wonder if he also has Jesus and Santa Claus, along with Hitler and Tupac, in his collective. So, he you know it's too good to be true that Doctor Bastard is obviously using the G-man as a form of being Doctor Who then you'd be right. Freeman is Doctor Who and the Combine is the Dalek Empire that evolved to lima beans to understand the body of fleshlings. Not only that but G-man is the administrator of the entire cosmos while God himself watches in amusement.

Alivad wrote:

Saint570 wrote:

All i have to say is.

Bla bla bla Mr Freeman (if you get my reference i love you long time.)

Let me explain in a largely shortened version of what I'm talking about.

The world is taken over by aliens and the one man responsible is considered a messiah of sorts. No one seems to have the common sense of turning their heads a few inches to the 90 degree angle to notice it. Are they being ignorant or are they cleverly ignoring the facts just to make their lives just a bit more interesting? I say they were being ignorant and ugly. Stupid because they literally are and handsome for not being born properly. It's their damn fault. And there is plenty of evidence during the middle portion of the first game that when the black ops soldiers captured him in Blue Shift he was tried for treason against humanity. He refused to testify. Obviously Freeman hates justice and deserves this. A man that cannot be bothered with the order of things should not be allowed to live. One could argue that the ones present were simply ludicrous sure, but the prosecution has presented a lot of "evidence" that proved he killed everyone. But, if Gordan were really guilty, wouldn't he not want to get caught? If Gordan didn't want to get caught, why would he leave any evidence? Their own argument defeats itself!

But in a strange working of fate he killed them all because the soldiers cried in self-defense for capturing Freeman, which he did not like. The Combine faced a similar fate when he held the entirety of City 17 hostage. The noble acts of the Combine military was an utter failure. There were many times in Half-Life 2 where he could have been aprehended but do to the meddling of the player he would get away. Not even leaving Freeman in a ghost town of Ravenholm could stop the bastard. He killed the entire population that was already dead. He never thought for one second that maybe they just wanted him to pass by without being detected, but Mr. Freeman being the insensitive man he is went Doctor Who on every last one of them. It didn't help when the only survivor was mentally scarred by him actions.

No matter how hard the world tried to stop him there just wasn't any way to stop Freeman. Eventually those that began to take Gordanism as their official religion began to take offices and buildings as their bases, killing Combine police forces whilst stealing their weapons, and storming an armory and launched a full-scale revolution against the Combine. Dr. Breen insisted that they stop their petty rebellion lest they all be skewered for their retardedness, which sorta happened until the Gordanism's God came to rescue them in a Big Damn Heroes moment and utterly raped the living fabric of humanity left in the military. Freeman's reign of anarchy can be seen in nearly every corner of the streets, painted with his sign of armageddon no less.

G-man of course never lets things get boring when Doctor Bastard is looming around the corner. By stopping time and letting him know that his 'clients' have invested an enormous sum of currency for his life it makes one wonder if he also has Jesus and Santa Claus, along with Hitler and Tupac, in his collective. So, he you know it's too good to be true that Doctor Bastard is obviously using the G-man as a form of being Doctor Who then you'd be right. Freeman is Doctor Who and the Combine is the Dalek Empire that evolved to lima beans to understand the body of fleshlings. Not only that but G-man is the administrator of the entire cosmos while God himself watches in amusement.

i just had a brain fart

I find you guilty for not understanding and violating my charisma.